I've been very lazy...my "let go" process is doing well though my mental still resists and wants to control...old habits die hard! But step by step i'm improving and enjoying the process.I've just arrived from Brazil, 10 beautiful and sunny days near Recife in a small hotel held by a friend. Needless to say that the beach was perfect, the water warm enough, the "caipirinha"(local drink....) was very inspiring! I didn't want to go in the first place, i mean i had so much to do...in my studio but rapidly discovered that i was drain, exausted, and without any imagination to craft so with a little guilt i accept reluctantly to go with my husband. It took me 4 days to fully relax, to accept that it was ok just lying the whole day without nothing to do except beeing tanned, laugh with my husband, eat whatever i feel like, enjoy, read a lot, take a little nap, daydream...I haven't really realized how much i was tense, how much my body begged for holidays. The guilt is a very empowering feeling, the constant urge to be active, to achieve deadlines that most of the time aren't that urgent. Now that i'm back home still feeling balanced and strong i want to slow down, my creativity has returned thank God!!! but i accept that there are only 24h in a day and i need to sleep a lot so Alex just relax and be aware of all the vampires around who ungulf you into their problems and suck every energy you may have!!!
The blog for example has been a constant ordeal, my mothertong is french, i live in Lisbon and am very much at ease in english. My first and obvious choice would be the french if i lived in France...the second choice is, of course portuguese and there is where the problem arouses! It doesn't flow...for the moment so what to do? i will follow my heart and......start seriously reading in Portuguese, not that i care for the grammar, i know i do my best and now i've reach an age where i don't care. Incredible what the 40 do to a person!
When you have mixed parents you become lazy as if i don't find a word in french i'll have the portuguese one and they understand so why bother? My friends make fun of me and correct me all the time ......hey i'm a world citizen and very proud of it. I'm at home eating fish in a newspaper in Africa, wearing the burka in Iran, enjoying my american coffee in Barnes and Nobles,bargain tissues in Mumbai... i adapt myself wherever i go. My brother just met in Cape town, a peruvian guy of 60 who had been traveling for the last 6 months. I would love to do that, what an exciting and fulfilling adventures.
As i deeply believe that what we take when comes the final path is human experiences, the love we gave and receive not the last blackberry we bought!!!So now i'm all excited about ARTFEST due to start in march 24...the trades are being done, plenty of other ideas can't wait to be in Port Towsend.
HAVE FUN....i just bought another portuguese book so i'm practicing!!!