I am happy...

 Those were definitely happy times, no worries at all, everything was cool and easy. I'm doing a diet for two months now, so far so good! It's the easiest i've done till now but still...there are times like now for example where i could eat 2 tablets of chocolates plus biscuits plus pasta at pestou plus....okay! you've getting the point i'm not starving because i can eat whatever proteins i want but is there something better than waking up in the morning preparing a large bowl of hot coffee and french baguette with plenty of butter and marmelade? My mental is swirling again so i'm rushing to the kitchen to eat my low fat iogurt with plenty of sweetener. 
Today is one of those difficults days when i just want to be in bed for the whole day, savouring an old romantic movie with a chocolate coffee vanilla ice cream...
Instead i'm going to eat my hamburger with my sunny side up egg, which is not so bad!
Step by step, one day after another with patience . My new mantra starting today " my life is easy and smooth, each day is getting better" What do you think? My mother is studying astrology and told me that  i have Saturn apparently in an ackward position where it meant" life is difficult, i have to struggle....bla bla bla......" Stop i will stop, starting today, at least i will try as it's becoming with ageing "less fun" to fight endlessly.

As we say in french "suite aux prochains episodes" step by step i will succeed in being more relaxed, less stressed...and most of all in being more patient with my husband.
i'll tell you all about it. Have a good  and a happy week-end.

Portugal Treasure album

• My little brother gave me this exciting idea about a making a portuguese album... I love everything that is old, i just took old vintage portuguese postcards, made two drawers, inside them  write down what is portugal to me, like Mosteiro dos jerónimos, Fado, Alfama, Torre de Belém, Dom Afonso Henriques, pastéis de nata...  a very small notebook with a portuguese traditional old boat, add a knitting made by my mother with a necklace "remember"and Voilà! 
• I love it ...
• I call it treasure album, as it will (i hope) always be a reminder for the lucky buyer how Portugal is a beautiful country, rich of his past and positive about his future. We are a land of imigrants, of travelers, of seekers, of courageous man and women. Our past is a magnificent one, we are proud of who we are and of whom we became.

I love being portuguese (and french too that's another album!!!) I know where my past lies through my father, i can trace my family back to the 17th century, so my roots and my sense of belonging is very strong and that gives me an inner strengh to go worlwide  with an open and curious mind .

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A wish little house

I

I made this wish house for a 11 years old boy that i m very found of. He's very creative and has a wild imagination, i sincerely hope that he cherish my little wish house. There's a box for him to write down his secret desires and i told him he should keep them for himself! He loves the idea...... let's see what happens!!!!!
Today i get up very early at 6 am...wow and spend my day in my studio. The morning was quite frustrating, i started some cover books but was stuck in the process of "now what i'm going to tell inside the book? Very unnerving, in the middle my cat frimousse was very excited too (guess whose fault!) and my coffee machine that i absolutely love and brought from Paris, as they don't sell this branch here in Portugal just broke!!!! grrrrr relax breathe in breathe out... there's still my favorite tea with plenty of milk and sweetener. 
My mom and her overwhelming generosity brought me some "fromage blanc" so i could create!!!!!!!!!!! and gave me the idea of what i could put inside my books; old postcards from Portugal. So that was it, my good mood came again like the tide i was flying again.
Wish reminds me that it happens a lot when we are supposedly stuck that's when we are about to move on a little forward.
So i'm tired but fully satisfied. it's been a rewarding day.

BE HAPPY....... CREATE and DREAM A LOT

Bon anniversaire Maman...

A friend told me recently that all the girls think their mom are beautiful! My mom is beautiful inside in and out. She sparkles when she enters a room, carrying her luminous energy, her incredible charm and charism. I have always profoundly admire my Mom for her beauty of course but most of all for her strengh, outstanding intuition( she knows it all.......) her wits, her culture, her "savoir vivre and savoir faire".

One doesn't forget Sylvianne Jung...she's quite a character!

she's fun

she's happy no matter what

She has fought many battles in her life never gave up

she's a natural leader

She acts every day trying in her own way to make a better world, in helping others via therapy so they can feel happy and accomplished or with her day care with elderly people.

My mom is always there for us and for others. People do love her for her incredible energy and utmost strengh.

I am truly blessed as she's my best friend, my confidant, my support, to be able to rely on her, to know that i can trust her no matter what, she's has and always be there for me as i am for her. One of my deepest regrets over the years was that we are not alike......at all physically we don't look like mom and daughter! I remember when trying to find my perfect wedding dress that the ladies used to tell me: how nice of you to come along with your mother in law!

I remember too how it would have been great to have my little Sacha that resembles her grandmother!

So over the years my mother is like a good french Bordeaux wine, she's becoming more and more luminous and compassionate and tender and........... Je t'aime schoune

Je suis fière d être ta fille

Today is Adriana birthday too a very dear friend, mother of 6, who has this incredible intuition too. Wish you all the best as she's going through rough times but she's got the ability and the strengh to come over it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY....BON ANNIVERSAIRE...PARABENS....

Feira Craft and Design april 2010

The market was quite a success. The sun was shining,i had a beautiful spot, people were happy and smiling... A perfect week-end! Though it's quite tiring i love being there all day, just chatting around, getting my work to the world! I haven't fully recovered from Port Townsend this year maybe it's my protein diet plus the jet lag plus the forties?Maybe i should slow down a little but...there's so much one wants to do. I think the omega 3 it's a marketing product! it doesn't work on me neither the spiruline! Maybe i should try to get more sleep... I had plenty of friends who come by, meet a bunch of new ones which i love even if it's always unsettling for me i'm the type who could live in the middle of the forest with my husband and cat. Get the pictures! but i'm improving there again that's what ageing does to a person i can say that i'm a far better person today than back in my thirties. More tolerant, understanding, patient, loving, caring...I have been learning, wisely the lessons that God send me. I've got a new workshop next sunday and there again i walk out of my safe zone trying new things, opening to the world and his judgement. I'm reading again and just beguining the 12 weeks program of Julia Cameron "the artist's way, a spiritual path to higher creativity". Yesterday i met an artist who is turning a medieval movie here in Portugal who ask me "where does your inpiration come from" wow! that's a damn good question. Julia Cameron says that it come mostly from pain? does it? My obsession one could say for nest are an easy one but unless you know me it doesn't show on my art which i like as for me the goal is to inspire people not to sadden them. Life itself is more than enough for that. So today i m happy , unsecure as there are too many projects going on and my mental loves to control as you all know by know that's why "The artist's way" comes in good time.There were yesterday this beautiful young teenager who is studying art, and told me how difficult it can be as teacher are sometimes so cruel they just cut your wings... in purpose or inconsciously but the harm is done, i replied to her there will always be "a cruel teacher" criticising, judging us most of the time is within us so one has to be aware! Being an artist is not an easy path but it's such a blessing and rewarding Life. Listen to your inner voice.

HAVE FUN...BE HAPPY

Working in my studio

Since Artfest i haven't been sleeping very well, at 8h30pm every night i almost fall of tiredness  and then it just passes till 3am..... as i resist on pills i just have to be patient while my husband....and my cat are fast asleep. So the bright side is that alone in my studio i create those albums. I bought this old book in Artfest this year, had an idea that of course turned out completely different. It's for sale on next week-end "craft and design".It's meant to be a gift as inside you can add photos of loved ones, there's 2 little drawers, a postcard... i cherish when i receive a present the wrap as much as the gift and it's good to make it last as long as possible, to have little surprises inside the big one! This one is simpler as there's a niche when you open it where you can add one photo. This one will be my third workshop; a day well spent learning how  to transform old books in beautiful albums. Recycling as the papers inside the books are used as canvas to paint, to resin, to sew, whatever anything but the bin!  RECYCLE the era of shopping is recessing more and more people are aware and concerned that one needs to change. So i try at home to reuse my materials and be less consuming even in my craft stores! I don't see the point in buying one more pair of jeans when there are so many in the drawers and i have to say that what really was the turning point to me was a trip to India severals years ago. We stayed with Mom in a magical place held by Dodies in the Rajasthan. One loves or hates India there's no in between. I love it from crowded and polluted  Mumbai to ancient palaces in Jaipur and Jodhpur to the superb food, the colours of the saris, the beauty of the people  their open smile, their deep spirituality. It's a life changing trip! I wasn't very much into addict shopping but now even less, i tend to buy what i really will use or need. My addiction are books but they are food for my soul so it's ok to keep on buying them. Is it? I would love to made "a life changing" trip to Peru too but there seems never to be the right moment! I definitely was Indian and peruvian in a former life as well as native american. Just finished this beautifully written book "a thousand wifes" by Jim Fergus and caught myself crying in the end when the cheyenne camp was dismanteled and all of them were killed by a ruthless  white army. Something within me was deeply moved,it felt real to me if you see what i mean? Ok have to hurry up and catch my mom at the airport (for once is not me...) and off to a beach restaurant, nice fish and shrimps! Still on the protein diet Amanda! it's worth it as now one can sees the difference...cool HAVE FUN....SMILE and LAUGH A LOT

Feeling dizzy.........

I just arrived from New York, i'm very tired it's been a long day! I haven't yet integrated Artfest  and fully unpacked that i was in a plane again.......which is kind of unsettling. This year maybe because the winter here in Portugal was rude i'm feeling tired as no matter how long i sleep i still wake up feeling dizzy......which is very disturbing for me as i'm used to do a lot of things 

is it the forties? I have this sense that time flies that maybe my creativity is blocked will i evolve will i have new ideas??????? Artfest was overwhelming for me as i was last year but i feel that my brain is out of control that i haven t fully grasp the techniques that i ve learned will i be able to do them again? did i understand correctly?  i'm a slow learner i need time and everything is going so fast but maybe that's the overall idea now that i try not to control! Let go......accept welcome the unknown.......  In his class Susan Lenart Kazmer told that we have to be aware of  "pretty things" that's precisely what we do not want to create, we want people to focus maybe on the message or.....well that was very disturbing for me as know i'm wondering gosh am i creating just... pretty things? which sounded so awful in Susan's mouth would she look at my stuff and just snorted? grr.......maybe that's a necessary path to take 3 steps behind to move on? i feel like she's peering in my studio telling me rubbish no good no good must improve .......see? i really need to sleep maybe tomorrow, my mood will be a sunny one? maybe it's just this enormous jet lag? I've had the confirmation that i will be flying mostly to Asia in june which i must say is unnerving as though i'm excited with all the treasures i will find in old markets in Pekin and Shangai the +8 hours is scaring me a little. Will i be able to sleep? will i ........stop there is my mental again taking over. Okay i took this photo below in Meat packing district, new york which is one of my favorites spots in big apple plenty of street art around changing every week. go to this place called "pastis" who looks like an old french bistrot very charming with delicious breakfast though for me it was only the sunny side up eggs as i m still on a diet! Good for me is the dukan diet, mostly proteins but very easy to accomodate so far so good lost a few pounds becoming addict to the black earl grey with plenty of milk and sweetener!  there's nothing like a good night sleep, my husband being away i let Frimousse (my tiger from Malasia.......) staying with me which seemed a good idea except at 3am when he starts miaw miaw grrr......plenty of work to do as next week end is "craft and design" so cross my fingers that my creativity will flow.... i'm excited with the resin and the encaustic wax let's see what comes up. i've been reading "a thousand white women" by Jim Fergus which i higly recommend if you fancy stories about americans natives. so i would love to make a resin album about the cheyennes, love their world and their concept of life.  HAVE A GOOD WEEK......oh happy easter almost skip it!!!! no eggs chocolate for me this year... LIFE IS GOOD .......BE HAPPY

artfest 2010

I don't know for you girls but it was an extraordinary time for me. Tiring though as from lisbon the jet lag is quite important minus 8 hours.....and as we(Margarida and I) wanted to do everything, to taste it all of course we had busy and fulfilling days. I started with this fun class of Patricia Seggebruch "encaustic wax" along with Amanda and Adie which was cool. We were in kindergarten playing, having fun exploring several techniques. Great way to start Artfest. I took 2 days with Susan Lenart Kazmer" journal resin and metal patina" who is has much talented and optimistic. 

I was so excited i skipped twice lunch......which rarely ever happens to me(i usually don t forget lunch time!!!!) she teaches us so many new techniques that i can t wait to try in my studio.   Above is where i had my classes this year, love it love it......Amanda teaches us how to solder along with Andrea, his mom and Nikki that was so cool even if i had to get out early to crawl literally to bed!!!!! So many good memories, beeing with another 570 women in a beautiful spot surrounded by deers, birds....creating all day long, exchanging all kind of different ways to create. I'm truly blessed to be part of that and being fully integrated by my art friends. Life has teached me by now that indeed, blessed are the ones who have a passion whatever it might be. Passion is the ultimate healer in ones life, our secret garden, our inner self.In a world of competition, of wild consuming, to be able to recycle, to stay still and create it's  God gifts.I would love to live in a spot like Port townsend, small enough to know my neighbours, with a golf course for my husband and plenty of workshops all year round so i can improve my skills and least but not the last a beautiful wooden house with a lake view. Sounds just perfect, as Teesha suggested us to write our own fairy tale........and who knows God listen to it! My perfect life would be to work only 50% "in the air" just what it takes to sightseeing around the world and be in my studio everyday from 8am till 8pm and create create create........It takes courage to live ones dream has our rigid mental stands on the way, warning us of all the bad things that would probably happened if we dare to live truly the life we want! but nevertheless i'm a positive girl and i do believe that i'm today living a more fulfilling life than i was 10 years ago when my goals seemed at the time so materialistic( buy shop buy shop...grrrrr!!!!!) so who knows? If God allows me i will definitely be in Artfest 2011... in the meantime i'm running to my studio my neurones are in a wild speed of creativity!

HAVE FUN.........CREATE...........LAUGH.........DANCE.............

DIA DO PAI / FATHER'S DAY

Esqueci me durante anos do dia do pai.....em portugal porque em França era noutra altura. Acabava por telefonar ao meu pai antes ou depois nunca na data x! O meu pai nunca ficava aborrecido, sempre feliz por me ter ao telefone e por não o ter esquecido. Como se isso fosse possível! Tenho ainda a sorte de ter o meu pai presente e disponivel, resmungão mas isso faz parte da familia Castro Ferreira...Nunca foi um pai galinha, nunca me castigou, desde cedo acreditou em mim e continua admirativo com as minhas "realizações", sempre pronto ajudar-me, dando me conselhos sábios somente quando os peço, transmitiu-me as suas raizes vindas do norte onde a familia é sagrada e intocável. Deu me o gosto de conhecer o mundo, de querer estar sempre bem informada, do trabalho bem feito, da importançia de ser bem educado e de saber estar. Ao meu pai devo as minhas raizes, o meu orgulho de ser portuguesa e françesa, de saber de onde venho e para onde vou. FEARLESS...Uma filha acha sempre que o pai é um borracho(claro que no meu caso é verdade!!!) Lembro- me de ficar frustrada quando vivia em Paris e de ele me aconselhar que se eu casasse com um português seria óptimo e que se fosse do mesmo bairro que eu ainda melhor! Foi ele que me apresentou o Luis que cresceu e viveu a sua infância toda no Restelo,eu na rua tristão vaz, o Luis na ilha da madeira... Afinal o meu pai tinha razão, nisso também costuma ser um pouco chato....agora que já tenho 40 também consigo ter razão de vez em quando!Mas o importante é ser mesmo feliz e sei que nada faz o meu pai mais feliz do que saber que os filhos estão bem.

Talvez a coisa mais importante que o meu pai me tenha transmitido além de eu ser uma filha muito desejada, logo muito amada, foi a confianca e a admiração que ele tem por mim. 

                                      Merci Papa je suis fière d être ta fille.  Merci Papi pour ta droiture, ta fierté, ton immense courage.

Merci de m'avoir appris a reconnaître un bon bordeaux, un bon camenbert.

Merci de m'avoir fait écouter de si belles musiques Obrigado ao meu falecido sogro que me aceitou de imediato. 

Homem de poucas falas assim como os meus avôs, sabia no entanto que gostava de mim por pequenas coisas, um sorriso, um despertar no olhar quando me via, um desafio para uma partida de golfe, o privilégio de ouvir histórias de outros tempos que eu adoro contadas vezes sem fim sempre com o mesmo entusiasmo.

A comunicação nem sempre é fácil entre pais e filhos, existe rivalidades, desencontros excepto raras excepções vejo sobretudo pais sem jeito que amam profundamente os seus filhos e por pudor, não lhes sabem transmitir e o tempo vai passando, chega um dia em que já não é possível abraçar, ouvir aquela voz tão caracteristíca do nosso querido pai e fica um remorso e um peso tremendo. Tenho me apercebido que o orgulho é um dos nossos maiores inimigos e contra ele luto, nada é pior do que os que ficam com tanto para dizer e saber que já não é mais possível. Sei que sou abençoada por ter escolhido o meu pai. 

Have fun enjoy create....

No return Home

How can one commit suicide? A dear and forever friend of my husband took his Life in a tragic way. How desperate can one be? Why is Life so difficult for certain people and easier for others? Why Why Why???So many unknown answers. I have been asked do you thing it's coward or brave ? Though i don't think the question is relevant, i think is both. It takes courage to take an irreversible decision, there's no way back, no second thoughts on the other hand how about those who care, who are left behind? with an overwhelming sense of guilt,despair, loss.

What keep us here when everything that matters are in a chaos?

 When we loose everything? 

When there seems to be no issue, no way out?

 When HOPE drifts away?

How deep can a man drown ?

but most of all.......               WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE?

It was forty years of friendship......a LIFETIME 

May his soul rest in peace.

Poem from Khalil Gibran "the prophet":

And a youth said,Speak to us of Friendship.

And he answered,saying:

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay".

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words,in friendship,all thoughts,all desires, all expectations are born and shares, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit..........

May his soul rest in peace.