It's all about inconditional LOVE

I just finished this altered book with a true nest dedicated to my grandmother, mom and myself.I hesitate at first as the nest seem so delicate and fragile but then...what a challenge. Made from an old book with pages tearing apart , found some newspapers from 1945, an old manuscrit bought in New York,my little drawers with tarot cards( both my mom and grandmother have an enormous intuition) I try to represent everyone of us. It was fun and easy, we share so many memories, complicity and most of all UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

As i was sewing the 1945 newspaper"le Figaro", i kept wondering about all that my beloved grandmother had gone through world war 2, the fear, Paris being occupied, living each day not knowing if tomorrow would come, finding basic food to give to her family...even in my worst nightmares i can't imagine what it represents living under constant fear. What courage those generations had. You will tell me every decade has his struggle, so true but yet we live in a free world and there's nothing compare to freedom.My mother fall in love in 1967 with a portuguese man, Dad and at that time Portugal was under a dictature that was very difficult to her. She had to wait till 1974 and Carnation Revolution for the democracy to install and the price was very high for a lot of people.Very controversial times. Now we have to face a different type of war but nonetheless scary. So Love is the answer and always will be. I know i kept repeating myself... I was very inspire and took a lot of pleasure, adding little signs here and there.   

Love is the ultimate healer

Love is where i want to go. 

Love is what i want to give and receive

Love is the best thing to experience  Have fun and enjoy

Flea market in Paris

For us who love to craft, Paris is a magical place. I convince Luis to come with me to "les puces de clignancourt". First stop, I recommend a baguette with saucisson(not light but so tasty) along with a bordeaux, chinon ou côtes du rhônes and enjoy, then you are able to fully appreciate the vue. I know french don't have a good reputation so I was more than happy to hear back in Artfest that I was an exception(must be my portuguese side!) once you've overcome the fact that french are bad humored towards everyone not just you! you can relax and start the search. It's like disneyland, so many treasures.I was completely excited to find a 18th doll little dress, it's absolutely gorgeous, the story that it carries, who did it belong to, what misteries lay within...I was close to tears with emotion, Luis at that point was sharing my happiness and content and help me find others small objects. It was a blessed day! We laugh, dance and hug a lot. Back in the studio, I look at my small doll dress and touch it now and then just to feel the texture, and even the smell of ancient. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT... My mother made me yesterday an hipnose session and had me commit to have two sessions every week, as she thinks i need to regain some balance and strengh in my life. Normally i should made them alone but of course i'm lazy and love her slow and deep voice.The results of erickson hipnose are quite espectacular if one pratices with regularity.I'm blessed and very fortunate to have chosen such a mom, who is always happy, giving her energy and her time around. HAVE FUN and ENJOY... BE HAPPY

I need to pray

 I need to pray.I come to realize over those years as my life hasn't turn the way I wanted it to be, that I forgot God. I remember back in my thirties how much I crave for love, how worry I was to remain alone. That was my ultimate desire , TO BE IN LOVE.Then I met Luis my beloved husband and remember this is it...Finally I'm Home little did I know that LIFE is an ongoing struggle(at least for me of course).

Don't get me wrong, I value the love we have together, deeply believe it's rare, profound and unique, but I HAD A DREAM....

The dream of the husband,2 childrens and the dog or a cat!!!!!

So common one could say,I don't want to climb the everest or save the world, just to add my small contribution by loving family and friends the best I can. That's where I forgot God and become very enraged for a moment and still am once in a while! How can this happen to me, I refuse despite the utter evidence that I'm in a fertility program that maybe it won't work, maybe I will never hold my child,maybe after all those years there's no happy end. I heard so many stories with so many solutions.I still have 3 to go...and now I've become so confused, do I really want a child or I relish the idea of beeing like everyone else, beeing part of the whole? Am I forcing God's will? Am I punished? My husband repeats me that it's like a mantra, an obsession. We tend to believe with all this positive new age current that everything is possible, we have the control of our lives....when did we came up with this absolutely crazy idea? God is in charge and will always be. Period, no need to argue or to bargain. My mental is ok with that but deep within I recognize it's difficult TO LET GO, REALLY BECOME A BELIEVER THAT GOD KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR ME.

How do you manage to achieve that? So many questions without answers...One just had to experience, bad or good in the end that's what we came here for? isnt'it?

I managed not to drown completely over this last four years, a new world of creativity and friends opened to me with mixed media. Be blessed. I'm proud of me as I choose the LOVE PATH, not always easy the bitter one was so close but I fight back. Maybe I will never become a mother but definetely I become a better person and don't we all have ours wounds to heal?

LOVE IS THE ANSWER...and always will be

Nb: If you're in Paris go Rue du bac to have this miraculous medals, there's a certain energy around.

BE BLESSED........HAVE FUN 

HOME SWEET HOME

I'm coming to you my love...Tomorrow will be together if God allows it. Feel you, hold you, kiss you. 

You are my joy, my love , my safe nest....Sleep well as is 22pm in Lisbon and 16pm here in Mexico. I'm going to work with you aside as you are always.

Secret desire

I'm in Mexico city the weather is pretty bad.....i'm homesick! I want to go HOME. I want to ckeck the mail, other pages must have arrived by now, start working on Jessica's page dream theme.....CREATE and stay at Home with my beloved husband. How does it sound? A very good program but before, off I go to Sao Paulo which is another mega city, very crowded and polluted. If you start thinking about the people living here everyday, with the huge trafic the constant noise. How do they remain focused, balanced? it's almost impossible to be equilibrated when you look around? Where to escape? How they manage to live and still pursue their dreams it's a mistery, but that is also what's incredible with the human being is our capacities to adapt and adjust no matter the difficulties. Most of them left their villages in hope for a better life, do they regret it? They were in their village with Mother Nature around, knowing everyone from childhood with a deep sense of comunity and friendship but with little expectations for work so they had the courage and determination to leave to "the capital". What is the purpose in OUR LIFES? What are we here for? Does everyone have a mission? If yes what is mine for example? What is yours? 

 How do you recognize your goal in LIFE? What to fight for? and when do we need to let go? As i travelled around the world and fortunately meet all kind of different people we all share the secret desire OF LOVE and BEING LOVED. LOVE IS THE ANSWER and always will be.

LOVE IS THE HEALING

Collaborative project

I've send my altered book to my dear art friend Amanda who send it to? So for now is a big mystery but i know he will be cherish and treasure. I dream of being part of a collaborative project so i'm in, good for me. i'm waiting the postman impatiently did i receive any letter from the US? not today maybe tomorrow. Jessica theme is dream. Tami is witches Jill vintage stuff...it's really exciting but most of all it gives me a feeling of being part of... be integrated, sharing with art friends giving,paying attention and thanks to Artfest. There was truly a before and after Artfest

Loyalty over the years

I've come to realize how much i carry of my grandmother's own story. It's rather interesting to observe in our life's what belongs to us and what doesn't.Most of the time it skips one generation rather inconsciously and it can become a burden over the years. I have this inconscious loyalty towards my beloved Mamie that i want to let go for now. It seems easy writing it down but how will i know the interior work has been made? When my LIFE starts to change,will answer my wise mom!!! My homework is to write a letter about my feelings, what i want and don't want to keep, then burn the letter and doing it till i feel that it's ok. I've done it in the past for others problems that kept me from evolving and the results were awesome. Now it seems more confusing as is for someone i deeply love and worship. You will reply me that one thing is loving someone and the other is reprove certain attitudes...correct but still i will need more than one letter! Old habits die hard... another strong belief that i have to eradicate as everything that i attract come from my thoughts and beliefs. Mamie used to tell us over and over that one has to fight, Life is hard, Life is a struggle... Tomorrow first thing in the morning, my letter and then off to the beach.. LIFE IS FUN LIFE IS FULFILLING and then thursday RIO DE JANEIRO Le Bonheur est aussi une question de volonté

Good memories

i spent the whole day in my studio, creating, organizing, throwing away...i found in my old trunk my marriage photos who are still disorganized after 4 years!!! 500 hundreds photos and without lying there must be about 10 who are correct...Fortunately i had good friends who made a video which is great.My thoughts wandered, i kept thinking about a friend who is single, another one who has 6 childrens and want to be at rest just for the weekend! another one just divorced, i want to have children ...as the Dalai Lama says the constant desire, the urge to have more,the not accepting and living in the present is what makes us insatisfied and unhappy. I remember 2002 september 2 as being one of the happiest of my life, i truly felt like a princess in my beautiful sissi dress and enjoyed every minute of it. I felt this is my day ! and i dance and dance and dance...want to regain that feeling of completely freedom...This is my wish for my forties be assertive, don't want to be manipulated anymore by friends who live in constant drama, who are vampires and drain my energy. HAVE FUN...MAKE LOVE and DANCE DANCE DANCE

New Cat...Frimousse

One of the good and unexpected gifts i received for my birthday...is this sweet 2 months baby cat,we called him Frimousse, sweet tender face in french.It means the world to me! i grow up as my husband did with dogs around, i used to sleep, eat with my beloved dog Pimba, told him my dreams, my griefs and he listened always...patiently. whenever i opened the door he came running to me, best friend for the lonely little girl that i was, my brother being more an outsider (tenis, football boys stuff...) i truly believe that an animal rest our soul, energize us. So there's this sweet baby cat , Frimousse we should called him "glue" as he's always by our side, a dog-cat actually and of course we love it. My husband who is constantly surprising me, didn't want the cat as i travel so much and he would have to take care of him! bla bla bla...now first thing Luis does when arriving home is" where is my favorite cat?"pussy pussy... buy him special food...and so on. Indeed my husband is one of the few persons that over the years has made so many inspirational changes and i admire him deeply. it takes a lot of guts and one amongst others qualities he possess is NOT CARING FOR WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF HIM... he doesn't take anything for granted, evolving, growing. My husband is a truly genuine person and that's unfortunately so rare nowadays. His friends can count on him, he will stick to them no matter what, supporting helping others. Tomorrow heading to the beach...get inspired and back to the studio to work Thanks my FRIENDS for all your caring messages for my 40.... Good to be loved and cherished(esta Stephane é para ti! )

Mes 40 ans...Comme le temps passe vite

There's the tradition in Portugal to celebrate the mother on each aniversary. BONNE ANNIVERSAIRE MAMAN aussi...I was very aware when i choose to encarnate in my mother's belly that we have lived many lives before, it's been a wonderful journey, since my youth not always easy as we are strong headed but when i look around i am always in awe of my mother generosity spontaneity joy...as a common friend says "sylviane is always the soul of a party" and i add SHE 'S TRULY THE SOUL OF MY HUSBAND BROTHER AND MYSELF...and if God allows it of her grandchildren to be. I am not a very extroverted person, rather shy beeing all day with my music in the studio creating makes my day! So when the idea of celebrating my 40 birthday arises i was reluctant, mixed feelings, still have to work my self esteem. and of course as Colin Tipping writes you get what you think...and there it was almost everyone confirmed the invitation and the day before or the D day......just came up with some excuse for not showing up...THE ONES WHO CAME ARE INDEED MY TRUE FRIENDS...but still there's this crawling feeling who is turning me down, une sensation de déjà vu. WHY do i always feel that others are more important WHY do i value others more than me WHY do i depreciate myself WHY ......... WHY others are always more talented fun bright......than me I wrote in a former page finally I LOVE MYSELF ......which is true but i realize not completely though otherwise i wouldn't feel so sad and disappointed . How many more excercises must i do to integrate that it s ok i m a good person there's nothing shameful inside of me i don't need to say yes......when i want to say NO people won't love me more if i constantly say yes on the contrary........ Mixed feelings are hard to go but i trust they will ...... i want to TO GIVE A BIG HUG to my extraordinary husband that i profoundly love and admire. Merci mon amour pour ta pacience ta force ton courageas another friends say it's karmic between you and Luis and i agree with her. HAVE FUN.......I had last night ,i dance till exaustion great music BEST FRIENDS EVER super sangria.... THANK YOU MERCI OBRIGADO