Good memories

i spent the whole day in my studio, creating, organizing, throwing away...i found in my old trunk my marriage photos who are still disorganized after 4 years!!! 500 hundreds photos and without lying there must be about 10 who are correct...Fortunately i had good friends who made a video which is great.My thoughts wandered, i kept thinking about a friend who is single, another one who has 6 childrens and want to be at rest just for the weekend! another one just divorced, i want to have children ...as the Dalai Lama says the constant desire, the urge to have more,the not accepting and living in the present is what makes us insatisfied and unhappy. I remember 2002 september 2 as being one of the happiest of my life, i truly felt like a princess in my beautiful sissi dress and enjoyed every minute of it. I felt this is my day ! and i dance and dance and dance...want to regain that feeling of completely freedom...This is my wish for my forties be assertive, don't want to be manipulated anymore by friends who live in constant drama, who are vampires and drain my energy. HAVE FUN...MAKE LOVE and DANCE DANCE DANCE

New Cat...Frimousse

One of the good and unexpected gifts i received for my birthday...is this sweet 2 months baby cat,we called him Frimousse, sweet tender face in french.It means the world to me! i grow up as my husband did with dogs around, i used to sleep, eat with my beloved dog Pimba, told him my dreams, my griefs and he listened always...patiently. whenever i opened the door he came running to me, best friend for the lonely little girl that i was, my brother being more an outsider (tenis, football boys stuff...) i truly believe that an animal rest our soul, energize us. So there's this sweet baby cat , Frimousse we should called him "glue" as he's always by our side, a dog-cat actually and of course we love it. My husband who is constantly surprising me, didn't want the cat as i travel so much and he would have to take care of him! bla bla bla...now first thing Luis does when arriving home is" where is my favorite cat?"pussy pussy... buy him special food...and so on. Indeed my husband is one of the few persons that over the years has made so many inspirational changes and i admire him deeply. it takes a lot of guts and one amongst others qualities he possess is NOT CARING FOR WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF HIM... he doesn't take anything for granted, evolving, growing. My husband is a truly genuine person and that's unfortunately so rare nowadays. His friends can count on him, he will stick to them no matter what, supporting helping others. Tomorrow heading to the beach...get inspired and back to the studio to work Thanks my FRIENDS for all your caring messages for my 40.... Good to be loved and cherished(esta Stephane é para ti! )

Mes 40 ans...Comme le temps passe vite

There's the tradition in Portugal to celebrate the mother on each aniversary. BONNE ANNIVERSAIRE MAMAN aussi...I was very aware when i choose to encarnate in my mother's belly that we have lived many lives before, it's been a wonderful journey, since my youth not always easy as we are strong headed but when i look around i am always in awe of my mother generosity spontaneity joy...as a common friend says "sylviane is always the soul of a party" and i add SHE 'S TRULY THE SOUL OF MY HUSBAND BROTHER AND MYSELF...and if God allows it of her grandchildren to be. I am not a very extroverted person, rather shy beeing all day with my music in the studio creating makes my day! So when the idea of celebrating my 40 birthday arises i was reluctant, mixed feelings, still have to work my self esteem. and of course as Colin Tipping writes you get what you think...and there it was almost everyone confirmed the invitation and the day before or the D day......just came up with some excuse for not showing up...THE ONES WHO CAME ARE INDEED MY TRUE FRIENDS...but still there's this crawling feeling who is turning me down, une sensation de déjà vu. WHY do i always feel that others are more important WHY do i value others more than me WHY do i depreciate myself WHY ......... WHY others are always more talented fun bright......than me I wrote in a former page finally I LOVE MYSELF ......which is true but i realize not completely though otherwise i wouldn't feel so sad and disappointed . How many more excercises must i do to integrate that it s ok i m a good person there's nothing shameful inside of me i don't need to say yes......when i want to say NO people won't love me more if i constantly say yes on the contrary........ Mixed feelings are hard to go but i trust they will ...... i want to TO GIVE A BIG HUG to my extraordinary husband that i profoundly love and admire. Merci mon amour pour ta pacience ta force ton courageas another friends say it's karmic between you and Luis and i agree with her. HAVE FUN.......I had last night ,i dance till exaustion great music BEST FRIENDS EVER super sangria.... THANK YOU MERCI OBRIGADO

First Step

In one week time, i'll turn 40. Wow! So much and so little! I'm gathering a diaporama with photos of family,friends and as i look back i can't prevent from thinking Wow i was so skinny at that time and i saw myself as fat or ugly or lacking confidence. How come! My mom (she's psychotherapist) is going to be happy as though sometimes there's old reminescence of that old feeling they are rare nowadays and rapidly overcome. I can say today that YES I LOVE MYSELF. It's been a long road, very fulfilling and hope the best is yet to come! I lost some friends along the road, others come along, the door is always open. more to come this week... HAVE FUN...enjoy create

HOLYDAYS...

Just arrived from Caracas.4h delay completely exausted. Going to sleep...at last Tomorrow sea , a lot of sun and i will feel new again HAVE FUN...

Happy Day...

I wake up this morning full of energy and feeling very creative. The collaborative project "artfest 09 sisterhood" is on...Let's do it!!! I was telling one of my friends one of the things i like the most about art friends is the energy, the empathy...no criticicism, no gossip everything is cool easy. We love to gather, have fun, share, laugh a lot...no matter the distance. I'm very impatient now to receive one of yours books.Who's first? What will be the theme? One of my dearest friend, who is 84 years old and is a painter once told me that the best gift one can have is to create.I was skeptic but now sees how right she is. When her husband died after 55 years of marriage what sustain her was her creativity, she keeps remind me that; don't you ever forget to create! I spent the day with my mother, who's a very creative lady too and is very excited...about preparing my 40th birthday. She cooks like "a chef" and has made numerous menu list...It was supposed to be a surprise but i understood that something was happening between her and my husband!!!!!!!! still it 's going to be FUN 40 wow!!! it comes fast doesn't it? HAVE FUN...and CREATE

a three dog life

It's one in the morning, I can't sleep, I bought this book "a three dog life" by Abigail Thomas and it made me think...

The story is about her husband that  was hit by a car and suffered severe brain damaged...He had no memory of what he did the day and the year before and how she struggles with her new life.

 Powerful book. 

My husband was ill too a few years back and I remember exactly what I was doing and where I was. I remember mostly the panic and the fear; being completely powerless. She says several times that after all those years after her husband accident, she still doesn't accept it.  

How can we accept the inacceptable? How do we find the strength to move on? She says that she discovers a new passion for the outsider art, she just keep moving day after day. I know that if my husband doesn't for a reason answer the phone quickly I imagine the worst. I don't take LIFE for granted anymore...but there are always new dramas ahead to be resolve. For instance, my husband's children come within 3 days, my position will always be a difficult one. Thank's God they have a mother and a father who happens, not to be me unfortunately. So where do I stand? They will never love me no matter what I do or don't as I'd like. Which is normal of course but as I want children on my own and they don't seem to come and maybe never will WHAT DO I DO with my husband's children? I'm not family nor a friend...I'm daddy's new wife(for 7 years now, but still grrrr!!! ) I know that they can't without feeling that their betraying their mom beeing really found of me. I understand a lot but still LIFE is challenging ... Ahead of that I'm thrilled  have a lot of new projects on my mind. Since I've bought the "altered book" by Bev Brazelton, 5 years ago  that I long to make a collaborative project or a round robin as you call it and Artfest made it possible. Let's do it! 

HAVE FUN...CREATE...ENJOY 

Flea market in New York

Look what I found in New York...I brought my brother along and we must have walked...miles in a row but I had this address (thank you Kecia) "the Garage" 112 W, 25 St open only sat and sun, who is just great, and suddenly all the tiredness left!

 I know you girls prefer the one's in Paris ...but I LOVE THE US FLEA MARKETS...just the sound of it makes me happy,(the grass is always better...you know the story).

I bought beautiful stuff, the handwriting letters are awesome the clocks...

I wouldn't mind living for a year in New York...I found this knitting café called after the book "the friday night knitting club" by  Kate Jacobs; that I recommend a very profound and touching book. 

Just receive the last Somerset Studio who is mostly about sisterhood and I thought what about we artfest girls could make a collaborative project? I'm becoming very enthusiast about the whole idea.. Let me know!

HAVE FUN

What really matters?

Look what my next door neighboor hang at my door. Huge zucchini, cucumber, lavender, origan.... That's so thoughtful and delicate of her. Definitely Lisbon is my town...apart of being the place where I was born and brought up, there's a sense of magic in the air, a sense of belonging. I would love though to live in my wooden house, like the ones you have in the US, with nothing but the sea and create from morning till dawn. I believe that God hears our prayers unless we have a different path He just knows better. As for us if we just listen our inner voice in the middle of all the babbling of the mental we too know our path! I brought my "little big brother" in New-York and as we were walking for hours...and had just found this flea market "the garage"(112 W 25th St saturday and sunday only) just out of nothing he told me that I should focus on what really matters.

That is of course positive things and set aside the bad ones. Which I realize is not so easy for example the last flight was one of the worst I've made. The energy wasn't there, the comunication was misunderstood ...on the other hand one of the passengers told me I was the best hostess she had in years and write it down, but I focus mostly on the bad energy that of course led to more bad energy...Stop my mental or have him more disciplined is what I should focus on, unstead of going with the flow....Are we afraid to be HAPPY, to just relax and enjoy. Why do we need to create all this dramas?( to evolve and heal...ok I know...) 

Thank you brother.

HAVE FUN

Titouan Lamazou...in Sao Paulo

I just arrived from Sao Paulo which is not one of my favorites destination! But all the crew had an unexpected surprise as we met Titouan Lamazou in the lobby of our hotel and who invited us to his exposition called "zoe" after his daughter.

The museem was closed and...he made it open for us the modern art museem of Sao Paulo! I was thrilled and completed overwhelmed by his huge talent. He traveled all around the world for the last 10 years, painting only women. Check above all the names of the women...Wow!!!!

My favorite was Pansy, an aborigen artist so powerful. Have you read "message from the true man" from Marlo Morgan? best book ever 

heading tomorrow to the Big Apple.......Love it already

Enjoy create and most of all.....HAVE FUN