23 fevereiro, 2010

30 days to Artfest, my trades are almost......finish!!!! still 100 to go...he he he but i don't stress it's supposed to be fun right? I listen to my inner child and deep into it with delight. I've learned the lesson. I've just arrived from Rio de Janeiro who's called "cidade maravilhosa" (wonderful city) which it is for her outrageous beauty, the landscape is awesome and most of all the "cariocas"( people from Rio) are one of the most happy people in the planet. Give them the beach, the football and the samba and they glow with joy. Trying to figure out why they are so happy though they have so "little" from  our material standards and i guess they have understood that life will bring it's share of burdens so WHY NOT BE HAPPY ALL ALONG, TODAY!...
and that brings me to how can i help a friend who is drowning? i'm lost as i don't seem to find the words, the right attitude to help her nor seem other commons friends. Pride is one of the worst default to have, as it will lead you directly to hell in my opinion. What keeps us from accepting that we are in need, that we are vulnerable, that simply we can take it any longer? How deep in depression must one go, how much loneliness must one experience to accept that there are FRIENDS OUT THERE EAGER TO HELP BECAUSE THEY CARE.
i've discovered over the years(hey i'm fortie now!!!!) that for certain people is very difficult to accept others help but on the other hand they are the first to help you no matter what and they complain a lot about  how they have to do it all by themselves, no one is ever there to help them bla bla bla..... So i will follow my mother's advice(don't we always.....) she's the psy!  
 i have to let go as one can't live others life. 
I feel guilty and hopeless. 
I feel disappointed
I feel frustrated......................  anger, rage, violence is NEVER THE PATH but i will have to let her find out at her own cost. 
Heading to Paris where i'm going to be qualified with the brand new Airbus 380.
 22 flight attendants, 400 passengers and New york is the first destination.Wow! 
HAVE FUN.....CREATE......DANCE.......LAUGH......MAKE LOVE.......

10 fevereiro, 2010

40 days to ARTFEST

40 days...to ARTFEST . I'm getting excited and in my head the countdown has started! this year the theme are FAIRY TALES and it's always very interesting to observe that in the art world there are many songs, movies this year with this theme, i can't wait to see the last Tim Burton Alice in wonderlands. 
I was invited buy a portuguese actor/ director to realize with another artist a piece for children.....due in late june, the main theme is FAIRY TALES. Very enthusiastic about it, to share the director insights and make them come true. In the meanwhile, heading to the city of angels and especially to Michael's...my favorite craft store. Hope my flight to Paris will be on time as he is usually late! but still no worries today as i reading with sheer pleasure this book "Alma e os mistérios da vida" from Luisa Castel-Branco, of course she doesn't know but she's contributing for my liking of portuguese books, which is a major step for me. Aleluia!!!! I'm happy and relax let's see on my way back from LAX with 9h of jet lag see.....my mental is nagging me and trying to control once again. 
the goal is living today more precisely now.

09 fevereiro, 2010

A little corner of paradise

I've been very lazy...my "let go" process is doing well though my mental still resists and wants to control...old habits die hard! But step by step i'm improving and enjoying the process.I've just arrived from Brazil, 10 beautiful and sunny days near Recife in a small hotel held by a friend. Needless to say that the beach was perfect, the water warm enough, the "caipirinha"(local drink....) was very inspiring! I didn't want to go in the first place, i mean i had so much to do...in my studio but rapidly discovered that i was drain, exausted, and without any imagination to craft so with a little guilt i accept reluctantly to go with my husband. It took me 4 days to fully relax, to accept that it was ok just lying the whole day without nothing to do except beeing tanned, laugh with my husband, eat whatever i feel like, enjoy, read a lot, take a little nap, daydream...I haven't really realized how much i was tense, how much my body begged for holidays. The guilt is a very empowering feeling, the constant urge to be active, to achieve deadlines that most of the time aren't that urgent. Now that i'm back home still feeling balanced and strong  i want to slow down, my creativity has returned thank God!!! but i accept that there are only 24h in a day and i need to sleep a lot so Alex just relax and be aware of all the vampires around who ungulf you into their problems and suck every energy you may have!!!
The blog for example has been a constant ordeal, my mothertong is french, i live in Lisbon and am very much at ease in english. My first and obvious choice would be the french if i lived in France...the second choice is, of course portuguese and there is where the problem arouses! It doesn't flow...for the moment so what to do? i will follow my heart and......start seriously reading in Portuguese, not that i care for the grammar, i know i do my best and now i've reach an age where i don't care. Incredible what the 40 do to a person!  When you have mixed parents you become lazy as if i don't find a word in french i'll have the portuguese one and they understand so why bother? My friends make fun of me and correct me all the time ......hey i'm a world citizen and very proud of it. I'm at home eating fish in a newspaper in Africa, wearing the burka in Iran, enjoying my american coffee in Barnes and Nobles,bargain tissues in Mumbai... i adapt myself wherever i go. My brother just met in Cape town, a peruvian guy of 60 who had been traveling for the last 6 months. I would love to do that, what an exciting and fulfilling adventures.  As i deeply believe that what we take when comes the final path  is human experiences, the love we gave and receive not the last blackberry we bought!!!
So now i'm all excited about ARTFEST due to start in march 24...the trades are being done, plenty of other ideas can't wait to be in Port Towsend.
HAVE FUN....i just bought another portuguese book so i'm practicing!!!